What it's really like appearing on live telly

In a word: scary

My right eye was extremely red back then for some reason.

Every so often, a producer phones me up and asks if I'll appear on live telly to talk about a particular issue (generally something to do with atheism). I don't know why I fear this as much as I do - every telly appearance I've done bar one (ITV1’s The Alan Titchmarsh Show, which ironically wasn't live) has been absolutely fine.

The thing is, I know that appearing on telly raises my profile slightly and I'll meet interesting people and get a small fee (typically £50 to £150) - so I usually bite down my nerves and agree to go on. Then I dread it until it's over. But I've done around two dozen live TV appearances now, and despite a few panic attacks when I was starting out, I'm beginning to get used to appearing.

So what happens when you go on live telly? Well, first you have to appear on the radar of a show's producer. The Atheist Bus Campaign tends to be the way they find me, even 17 years on. I reckon I'm on some sort of atheist telly watch list.

Then they email, generally, and ask if I'd be willing to appear on their show the next day. I say yes if I can, for the reasons above. They then phone and chat to me about the topic in question, to check I'm articulate and can put across a strong point of view. Though obviously not too strong ('they should all be killed!' doesn't tend to go down well).

During this conversation, I force myself to ask the producer what the fee is. I always worry that by bringing up money, I'll rule myself out of the running, and instead they'll choose someone who isn't as mercenary as me. But you don't ask, you don't get - and even if the fee is only £50, it covers any necessary travel and the time taken out of your day to appear.