The pros of being single
I've spent six months unencumbered by romance. And you know what? That's totally fine
A few months ago, the doorbell rang and I received a flower box. You know the type: tall and very light, with holes in the side. Years back, I would have been enchanted. Instead, I felt actively dismayed: “Which bugger who knows my address sent me these?!”
I was hugely relieved to discover the ‘flowers’ were just some tall house plants I’d ordered and forgotten about.
Because, you see, the thought of becoming romantically entangled with someone again is exciting and beguiling, but it also fills me with dread, because I know the pain love can cause. And I tend to think that human beings, including myself, are best in small doses - like vaccinations.
After 30 failed relationships, I would love to be immunised against romance. A quick jab in the arm: “There you go Ms Sherine, you’re protected from all dalliances for the next decade! After that, you’ll need a booster.”
How uncomplicated would life be? The answer is ‘extremely’.
Full disclosure: I am currently in what the youth call a ‘situationship’ with my ex. We still care about each other deeply. So we go for coffee, enjoy each other, make sparky conversation, hold hands, kiss. It’s like dating again.
But he never, ever stays the night, and it’s probably not going to get any more serious than this, because we know from history that it doesn’t work.
Which is sad, in a way, but also quite freeing. So here’s what I like about being single.
I can sleep in heavenly peace
My most recent ex, who was a greengrocer, used to snore loudly. I would shake him gently in the aim of stopping this.
“Unngh?” he would ask.
“You were snoring, darling,” I would say.
“Was I? Sorry, sweetie,” he would murmur, then turn back over and immediately start snoring again.
Now, this wasn’t really his fault. But what was his fault was his refusal to allow me to sleep in another room. I would escape downstairs to sleep on the sofa; he would wake up and make it his mission to come and find me and drag me back to bed. Romantic? Absolutely. Tiring? Extremely.
And being woken each day at 1.45am, when he would get up for work at the market? It would leave me bleary and unproductive, and I would wander around in a fog of exhaustion. And I can honestly do without that.
No one will try to change me
Look, I’m not perfect - not remotely. I’m fat and unfit, I don’t have enough money to cover my bills, and my beloved daughter - whom I love more than anyone else on the planet - thinks I’m a tragically unhip and embarrassing doormat.
But I’m trundling along just fine, for the most part. I love writing and music and being a mum, I love my house and my friends and my alone time to think.
Keep reading with a 7-day free trial
Subscribe to Thoughts From a Small Brown Girl to keep reading this post and get 7 days of free access to the full post archives.