My 2025: all my cunning plans

I want to get skinny, have hot sex, sell my novel and become a well-known pop star

Yes, it’s a 2017 photo, but I’m aiming to get back to this! (And do zero videography.)

Happy 2025! I hope yours has started with a bang, ideally literally. (No, I’m not hoping you got shot, unless you’re insert-name-of-evil-megalomaniac-who-doesn’t-read-my-Substack.)

This year, unless I get hit by an atheist bus, I will probably turn 45. Now, I appreciate…